Dear Emotional Woman

23 Nov

Dear Emotional Woman,

You may feel like a storm is constantly churning inside of you.
One moment there is a calm, cool, breeze,
the next moment a tornado you can’t control,
ripping out truth, stability, self-worth, and ultimately your sanity.
In the stillness, you attempt to clean up the mess, but it seems like there is never enough time.
The wreckage seems to build broken piece by broken piece
till you can’t see over it.

So, EW, I would like to suggest, maybe it’s not up to you to clean up.
I would suggest instead of staring at the heaps of broken things, that  you could recycle and make art out of it, displaying it proudly, reflecting not only your survival instincts but your brilliant ingenuity.

Emotional Woman, you may be used to the world telling you that you are too much. If they haven’t said it out loud, you can see it in there faces, feel it in phrases that seem wise on the outside but are really filled with soul destruction.

“Get a hold of yourself.”
“Be practical.”
“Guard your heart.”

The last one’s a clincher. You’ve tried, but it seems like you don’t know how. You fall in love way too easily and you have grown to hate yourself for it. You don’t know how to take something for how it is, a certain look, a certain conversation, a certain touch is all it takes to send you down a path in your heart it’s hard to return from.

You feel  like a little girl caught in the land of fairy tales, but this is “real life” and there is  always disappointments. You get caught up in those eyes and moments, and find yourself speeding recklessly, out of control, your mind screaming at your heart telling it it’s going to crash. It’s going to break again.

You don’t understand why you can’t just slow down, stop thinking so much, just take things at face value.
You look at other women who seem strong and collected and envy them with a passion. (even your envy is passionate)
It seems like they have tapped into some secret control center. They can turn their tears on or off like a hose. They run their love lives like a well kept kitchens. They are spiritually in tune and self-fulfilled. They are not a complete wreck inside like you.

But EW, I want to let you in on a little secret-
These women are ice cold.
They’ve built up walls inside because the pain was too much.
They are pretending.
They wish they could feel again.

A gooey, messy heart is better then a rock hard one. The goo may ooze out onto those around you, but trust me that’s a good thing. It’s called compassion.

Your tears may come sporadic and uncontrolled, but I would be far more concerned if they were all dried up.
You may fall in love too easily and too hard, but some day, that will be a beautiful thing.

You will jump in head first into a love that is deep enough that you will not get cut on jagged rocks again. It will be a safe place to swim.

The man you will be with will be man enough to laugh and cry with you. He won’t think you’re too much, because he will be in touch with his own emotions. He won’t be afraid of your capacity to feel, he will love you for it.

And you know what- God already loves you for it. When He made you, he made your heart an ocean- so don’t wade on the shore.

God made you to feel. Feel for others. Feel for the world. Embrace these things fully. Make art out of them. Let it come out raw, in what you write, paint, cook, establish, in how you relate to your husband and how you raise your children.

Stop condemning yourself, start embracing who you are, emotional and all, and and start living.

Let love flow out of you, over the world like lava.
Then, my dear one, you will be free.

Sincerely,
Yourself

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3 Responses to “Dear Emotional Woman”

  1. Rebecca November 24, 2009 at 3:34 am #

    Brooke- this gives me more hope than a psychiatrist. i am so hopeful to let lava love flow. “he made your heart an ocean” – titanic reference. totally gets me. this is so good. it takes all the dark clouds away. Thank You.
    Every emo-tastic girl needs to hear this.

  2. Samantha November 24, 2009 at 12:52 pm #

    Wow this so hit home. Stop wading on the shore…this is truth that I’m learning to follow. Live in freedom not fear-this is the bottom line of this message. God called us “good” when He made us and this message speaks out of this goodness. God is not ashamed of us, so why should we be? Thank you for sharing this wisdom Brooke.

  3. Mom November 27, 2009 at 7:25 pm #

    Yes, yes! The secret to a happy life-feel, laugh, cry, get involved, give to others, give to yourself.
    thanks, this poem is very reassuring and affirmative and I can trust the wisdom. I see God laughing in joy.

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