When I am On Display

9 Feb

I really am my own worst enemy

I think I need to fight myself

when the war for my heart

has already been won

 

but I bleed mistrust

my wounds ooze insecurity

so I bandage them up myself

 

still acting like I don’t know my role

like I am ad-libbing this character

but the curtain is not there

there isn’t even a stage anymore

 

so I don’t know what to do with myself

alone in a room with my emotions arguing

my head reciting the lines

 

and all the while

Truth is in the room, cleaning up that ripped curtain,

tearing down that stage, saying,

 

“Show’s over. Give up the act.”

 

(but I am comfortable and afraid)

 

so I move to the museum

putting a replica of myself on a shelf

summing up briefly on a sign

who I am

 

(It’s easier than standing for something)

 

and all the while

Grace is in the room, a wild look in her eyes, saying,

 

“In case of emergency, break glass.”

 

and I know I can’t breathe while I am on display

I know this room is for old things, dead things

I know that stages are for pretending

 

and just then I realize

Choice is standing there, reminding me,

 

“You don’t have to live like this.”

 

he points to the exit sign, lit up, blood-red

 

and I smash through the glass,

a self-imprisoned convict

 

and I run towards the door as fast as I can

knowing life waits on the other side

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2 Responses to “When I am On Display”

  1. Becca February 9, 2012 at 11:49 am #

    Grace is in the room, a wild look in her eyes…Choice is standing there, reminding me, You don’t have to live like this. Oh when heaven is in the head what is anything. Dreams come true- we continue in glory.

  2. r_strick February 10, 2012 at 4:39 pm #

    amazing poem girl, thanks for sharing! “and all the while, Grace is in the room…”
    powerful!

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