some mornings
certain words
try to press into me
and I can barely feel them
I shake off their outlines
like they never meant anything
though once they were air
now I choke and splutter
It’s always scary and amazing how
that which once felt like life
seems like death
and some of what I had mistaken
for death
is a lot like life
just a bit of it
enough to get me past
the raging feeling that
all of this is for naught
vanity, vanity
and I don’t have the energy
to disassemble
and interpret
the complex
mixed-up
stories
that repeat
over again in my head
with no understanding
lessons gone unlearned
headlines unheard
screaming warnings unobserved
poetry forgotten
I drag myself into a
field of empty pages
desperate for some awakening
aching for an exclamation
yet
when words fail me
I know I put too much hope in them
they are empty without
the meaning behind them
a heart with no blood
bones with no skin
love with no risk
you can’t read in the dark
so I must let the light in
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