Audacious Words (Dare Me To Move)

I have been reminded the past few weeks, especially the past few days,  what it looks like to live a life of audacious faith. To take risks. To put things into action.

I am terrible at this.

I am a thinker, not so much a doer. I can philosophize and contemplate something to death. I always envied those people of action. For me, I feel like I can’t force action.

It needs to come welling up inside of me, sourced by a spark of uncontrollable desire, passion, urge, chutzpah.

I know I want to do crazy great things, but sometimes I feel far from that nineteen year old Brooke who knew that she knew she was destined to conquer the world. Almost as if she is in danger of being squashed by someone older, more practical, and “wiser.”

(Maybe this is nothing new, maybe this happens to everyone.)

This is where I need a re-igniting, and I know God is just wanting anxiously (if God was anxious, which He is not) to give it to me.

I want to really believe my words can change the world. I want to really believe there is nothing better in the world then seeing the light bulb go off in someone else, sparkle return to dull eyes, for someone to experience LOVE for the first time in its true brilliance and clarity.

I want to truly believe what I am doing (writing) matters, that there is nothing more important then this, because this is simply what God created me to do.

I want to actually believe in the local church again. I feel tired from the same conversations, “If only the church was like… the book of acts… rethink  everything… real communities…. meeting peoples needs…..”

Not that they are bad conversations, they are necessary.

Maybe I am tired because in my world currently, they feel only like that- conversations.

(I am just dying for a little less conversation and a little more action.)

As a lover of words, I also hate them because so often they seem to replace action.

And that makes me question my whole existence as a writer because as Thoreau said so poignantly,

it’s vain to sit down to write, when I have not stood up to live.

Often I focus so much on trying to understand every little thing. I focus so much on what I don’t know, so here’s a little bit of what I do know:

God has called me to be honest in my writing. To take people on a journey with me, let them know they are not alone in their doubts, fears, longings. To allow them to breathe, quit the facade, know they are loved unconditionally.

I need to really believe my writing will (through a miracle only God can do) change people, causing movement.

Maybe it will influence Christians to get out of the pew, people to find healing, go back home to their family, move to Thailand, no longer see God as an angry untouchable being.

And so, may for The Creator breath a new audacity in you and in me to believe once again that impossible is nothing.

May these hollow words be filled with Spirit, become flesh, a living breathing movement that shake and stirs the whole world wide awake.