Tag Archives: truth

A Textbook Can’t Hold You at Night

4 Sep

Sometimes you have to swing to both sides of extreme before coming back to the middle,

Back to the heart, the beating and bleeding, the real life.

Many of my beliefs I held fast on to about God,

About who I am,

Have been too slippery to hold on to.

They weren’t solid enough to grasp, they were squishy, always morphing shape.


So I let them go.

It was a difficult loss.

My former self cried heresy.


“How do I keep moving forward when all I ever thought was true, feels like a lie?”


But these ideas, this theology awkwardly handed to me,

Were nothing but rumors passed down,

Emotional conclusions formed at the whisper of an angry voice,

Leftovers from feeling orphaned and homeless,

Attempts to work your way back to God’s door.


I had always been terrified to let go of them,

but these “truths” were keeping me from being set free

they were wrapped up in ugly realizations

that kept me from seeing the real Truth-

Your face.

Your voice.

Your heart.

Who I am.

Because you see, a relationship is a little bit more complicated then a set of theories.

Rules can’t tell you everything is going to be alright.

A textbook can’t hold you at night.

And there is no beauty in memorizing the right answers.

Sometimes you have to throw aside all you know to be true,

and embrace the One who is Truth.

10 Impossible Things Before Breakfast

20 Dec

There are mornings I wake up and immediately believe two lies:

1. That today is just another day.
2. That I am jut an ordinary human being.

I forget:
1. I am breathing. Life itself is a miracle.
2. I am a hero on a journey.
3. Everything is mine, because it was given to me.

I want to believe these impossible things before breakfast.
And the list continues:

4. All things worth having are a gift.
5. I already have everything that everyone is searching for.
6. Nothing is worth more than this day.
7. Epic stories are in me, waiting to be told.
8. I am loved extravagantly, I with all my counted flaws I stupidly keep track of in the darkened mirror.
9. Everything is finished. The struggle is believing that.

Speaking of number 7, all this feels like a fairy tale at times, a place like Narnia or Middle Earth or Oz, like falling deeper down the rabbit hole or taking the red pill.

Can I believe in what seems to be a story? Or is it that the stories tell a greater Truth that our world can’t grasp?

What is the reason these stories seem more alive than our “mundane” lives?
Why do they resound so deeply within our broken frames?

Could it be because they are the way we understand The Story?

And so I bring you number 10:

10. God came as a human infant; bloody and screaming, into a dark stable reeking of manure. He grew, walked among us, healed the sick, mended the broken, tore down the old system of religion, ate with the whores and criminals, loved all. He was murdered and came to life, defeating death forever, giving us the greatest gift: himself (true life) to all who believe.

Because of #10, because I am a character in This Book, I can believe the other 9 impossible things before breakfast.

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