Tag Archives: thoughts

As She Grapsed For Those Words

6 Aug

how do you make the world good?

she asked rhetorically, with a hint of cynicism
after all, she had seen her fair share of badness
death and decaying hope
overwhelming sorrow drenched her sheets
until she rung them out with her frail hands

squeezing droplets
cementing in her consciousness
never to let the world drop her flat on her back again

this time, I’ll fight back

she promised herself and the world around her
including those she loved
until they became her enemy just like the rest

hurt for hurt became
hate for hate

intimidation for intimidation became
kill or be killed

fear folded over into fear
until it covered and suffocated and blocked out all the light

How do I make myself good?

the question barely reached her for the force
she spent pushing it aside
violently destroying herself inside

battered and numbed over
forgetting the soft, rounded edges of hope
not daring to let it show
for the pain it ensued

then a voice, a face, taking the shape of a child
spoken in some other tongue

some language spoken gently to her former self
before she left civilian life to fight

vaguely making out a few words
she heard whispers of long-ago victory

of something resembling peace,

no– defining it

maybe even love

yes, definitely love

as she grasped those words with a strength from outside of her
she consumed them, starving

it was that or death, she decided

then slowly, slowly

those words began to become her reality

how do you make the world good?

believe that beneath all of this,
it is.


Meager Wednesday Words

30 May


today I know I have something to say

but I don’t know how to say it

(seems to be the story of my life)

raging words

and silence


but no more

I stand under the shower

and hot water pounds on my mind

and slowly beckons


the rhythm and meter and


the words



never forced

utter grace


“It’s easier,”

I think,

“To live with your



and heart



dust clouds had gathered for days

I felt listless

searching for meaning


it takes strength to walk through the mundane

as if it did not exist

as if it doesn’t have a hold on me

as days go by and nothing seems new


(but all things are)


and so I choose to live inside this pattern of words and cadence

I live

and know

I don’t need a mountain view

a foreign landscape

a near-death experience

to do what I do


“It takes bravery,”

I think,

“to live with your eyes

this open.”

Grace My Feet- Life Changes, Writing & Itineration

30 May

Check it. Comments, opinions, please.


I’ve been wanting to do videos to my poems for awhile, I did one a few years back, but it got deleted when my youtube account was hacked. In the future, I hope to actually get more video and less pictures, but we will see.

Side note/bragging excitement: This poem is one of my favorites and it actually just won first place in The Shine Journal’s Contest and was nominated for The Pushcart Prize. I am excited this is like the first writing contest I have ever won and I have literally entered hundreds.

This past week I turned 26 and spent my last day at Pais. I honestly expected I was going to be there longer, but several different changes and opportunities made me realize it was time to move on. I am going to miss the people I worked with, they are amazing and have truly added so much to my life, I am so thankful for them. I learned a ton at this job and I know I was there for so many reasons.

Life is an adventure, I never really know what is around the bend, but I am reminded again, this is how I thrive. I remember my life song, Faith My Eyes by Caedmon’s Call,

and I don’t want to know, cause life is better off a mystery….

Yes. A change will do me good. I am used to the good-bye’s and hello’s, it seems to be how life rolls along. At first I struggled with thinking I have commitment issues or something, but no, this is the way God made me. I come alive when I itinerate.

so keep on coming, these lines on the road…

I am now currently a full-time freelance writer. I have a few writing projects I am pursuing, including one opportunity to co-write a book with someone who has enormously influenced my life. That is going to be my main focus this summer and most likely beyond. It is something that has been burning on my heart for the past three years, it is incredibly important book the world needs to read- a journey from bondage to grace and life. I am so excited because I feel like God is finally releasing me to jump into this. More on that later. 🙂

Keep me responsible be it a light or heavy load…

I also contributing to this beautiful book called Teach Your Daughters to Cry Loudly. This project is by Jonathan Almanzar, the same talented writer who co-authored the book, Crabgrass and Oak Trees, which I reviewed earlier in my blog. Teach Your Daughters is collaboration of stories of oppressed women all over the world, a way share in their suffering and have our hearts broken until we must do something to help ease their pain. The story I have contributed is one about a girl I met in the brothel in India, the sister of one of the girls in the children’s home we worked out. Seeing since how the soul purpose of our trip to India was to tell stories, it is amazing to me how one year later, it is really happening. This book is so much my heart and I am honored to be a part of it.

Keep me guessing, these blessings in disguise…

If you are still reading, thank you for being a part of my journey. I am going to try to blog more often here.

I’ll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes.

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